Trashcans and Troglodytes

When was the last time it snowed? 2 weeks ago? Enough for most of the crap to be at least passively cleared from the roads and sidewalks, right? Definitely too long ago to even THINK it would be a good idea to save a parking space with a trash can.

Think again.

It would appear that my across-the-street neighbors continue to find it necessary to place trashcans, recycling bins and other white trash lawn ornaments in every available open spot of asphalt. Seriously. Now, these knuckle draggers are very generally awful - besides loud domestic disputes, taking up two spots on the street to save one for a friend and pushing the snow across the street onto our sidewalk, we actually caught one denizen of that row-house of ill repute kicking another neighbors car because she was having some difficulty parking.

So yeah, some real winners.

Last night, we moved one of the bins and parked our car across the street (in the spot that weeks ago we shoveled out, I might add). Worried about possible retribution, I set up a video camera to record any townie justice (sadly, it ran out of space - we need to delete some races...).

Nothing happened.

We ran bunch of errands today for about four and a half hours and came home to - you guessed it - that fucking recycling bin.

Lots of response methods ran through my head (many of which involved the liberal application of fire), though cooler heads eventually prevailed and we called the cops. BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL (not just annoying) TO SAVE SPACES.

The cops said they "couldnt do anything" and to call the mayors office, where apparently a department exists to deal with this sort of thing. Department thusly contacted, we were informed that Boston was "no longer enforcing the law".

What. The. Fuck.

It would appear that the people they contracted to collect all the shit people put on public roads were "occasionally attacked".

Seriously?

The city backed down because of a handful of townie ass clowns assaulted government employees over a few more-or-less shoveled parking spots? I hereby volunteer for the position of "Guy That Removes Peoples Junk From Public Streets And Occasionally Administers An Ass Whipping To The Idiots That Think They Have A Right To Save Spots". Really, guys. I'll do it for free. This has been such an annoying problem in my neighborhood, and the city has repeatedly refused to address it.

Thanks for having our backs, recipients of my tax dollars.

So the take away lesson from all of this is that, as far as I can tell, the city advocates citizens taking matters into their own hands. It would appear that i am to just look for a place to park, much farther away, on another block. And if this escalates (say they mess with my car) I am supposed to... what, respond in kind?

Do not tempt me, Boston.