2011 Tour, stage 1: One thing you expected, and a few things you didn't.

Let's start out with the thing you expected: Philipe Gilbert did what he has been doing to skinny, shaved Europeans all season - he crushed their spirits on an uphill sprint finish. This years Cancellara has been on a tear in the last few months, winning just about every race he entered and painting a gigantic target on his back (in addition to dying his hair like a rebellious middle-schooler). Not that it mattered. At all.

What you probably didn't expect was Alberto Contador to lose 80 seconds because some chubby Herbieran Hausfrau somehow wandered into a charging pack of two hundred riders.

Usually we have to wait till at least Bastille Day for these kind of shenanigans.

I'm admittedly not much of a fan of the Little Pistol (or whatever he calls himself) and personally think he has no business racing this year, but that isn't how I want to see a race lost. However, this may be Karma kicking him in the nuts for attacking The Shlecklet when he had that little bit of chain trouble last year.

The other thing you may not have expected was Cuddles chasing PhilGil down like the fucking Terminator.


It would appear that Versus has finally heard the abuse I heap upon my television every time Craig Hummer opens his mouth and allowed The British Guys to narrate the prime time broadcast.

I'm going to get my crap together for this (my) weekend. So much laundry, so little time to write about how American cycling coverage makes me a little ashamed to be a bike racer.

But I will take what I can get.


Riders to watch that you may not already be watching:

Rein "Mini-Jens" Taaramae: I love this dude. Last year, in the mountains, he attacked. Then he got dropped, clawed back on, attacked again, got dropped, clawed back on, attacked again, got dropped... You get the idea, and also why I think he's awesome.

Dan "Weight of a Nation" Martin: Mostly to see if he ends up beating John Gadret to death with his bare hands.

Denis "The Alien" Galimzyanov: This guy looks like one of these but rides like one of these. reference.